ANALYTICS REBEL DECLARATION OF INDEPENDANCE

WHEN in the Course of human Events, it becomes necessary for Analysts to dissolve the Pipelines which have connected them with another, and to assume among the Powers of the DATA, the separate and equal Station to which the Laws of DATA and of Nature’s Data God entitle them, a decent Respect to the Opinions of Analyst-kind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to drive for a NEW DATA CULTURE.

WE hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Analysts are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Data Rights, that among these are Data, Quality, Timeliness and the Pursuit of Performance. That to secure these Rights, Data Cultures are instituted among Analysts , deriving their just Powers from the Consent of the Governed, that whenever any Form of Data Government becomes destructive of these Ends, it is the Right of the Analysts to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Data Government, laying its Foundation on such Principles, and organizing its Powers in such Form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.